I've copied and pasted this up top, so to speak, in case folks haven't been scrolling down. We still have time to decide if we want to do anything formally. OH, if we let the charity send the card, we would have to get an address for her. Something to keep in mind.
I heard back from TWH. They can't give us legal advise because we're not a client (no surprise), but nor can they help us gather or disseminate funds because "the IRS's non-profit rules prevent us from working to raise money for an unrelated non-profit." So I called the American Cancer Society to ask about how we'd go about this. We don't have to donate to the ACS, but I figure the concept would carry over regardless of charity.
What we can do is make an honor donation (which is what I think a lot of un-incorporated fan sites do). One person can gather funds and make a single lump donation on the group's behalf -or- we can make donations individually. The charity sends a card to the honoree regardless, either one card with our names signed to it (in case of the lump donation) or a card for each individual making a donation. We could also have a card sent to a point person to bring to TWH if we'd like to sign it there to present it to her at the con. Donations are tax deductible, so if deducting your donation is important, please note that person would need to make an individual donation.
Maybe we could do this two-fold: donation (whichever way we do it) and then have a Domus Rox card at TWH for folks to sign, whether they donate or not? Just a good will thing. On the other hand, I don't know if she'd want some big banner at TWH asking folks to sign a card, ya know? Thoughts?